Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
