you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
