Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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