she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
