my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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