well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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