Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
