Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Randomize
