I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
party gras won. party gras always wins.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
