wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
