have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
