Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
