They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
