i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize