So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Your dad touched me again.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Let's paint friendship bongs
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize