i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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