We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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