i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
