Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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