4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
