U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
