A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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