big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
