once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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