a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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