She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
