Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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