walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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