I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
