out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
