i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
