remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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