i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
