Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize