my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize