im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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