10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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