we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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