I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
