i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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