didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
