so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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