Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
