It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
