I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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