Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
