He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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