Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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