and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
