So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
