Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
