Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
