How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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