State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
