The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
this will be a night to untag.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
