eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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