This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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