I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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