I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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