I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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