Small penises have feelings too.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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