I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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