Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
