question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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