do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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