kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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