u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
