thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
