Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
