I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
