I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
