I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
